Heartbreak & the Inevitable Longing for Time


Here we are at yet another year, a new beginning in the long stretch of time we call life. We greet it like an old friend with new clothes. Updated for the fashion of the current moment. Worn like it will bring us closer to the essence of our true selves – or at the very least, appear to do so. Cleaning out and clearing closets to rid ourselves of old armor, dusty masks, too tight cloaks and clothes that no longer fit the fullness of growth and change.

Welcome to 2018.

The linear tick and tock can only be told through the body, the cells, and the overlay of memories through past, present – and a future not yet manifest in conscious awareness. I’ve been pretty obsessed with leaning in to the galactic core these days and peering through the center of our galaxy to get a glimpse of something, anything that could expand my understanding of NOW. Reading after reading, plus my own little life drama, keeps me deeply engaged with the extraordinary wisdom of the Mystery that offers the most subtle piece of life’s puzzle – pure vast space. I feel like Einstein (we both have Uranus in the 3rd house!) trying to solve the equation for the ultimate meaning of it all.

I’m a meaning maker by trade and so it’s no surprise that the unfolding composition of each moment grabs my attention. I can feel the thin layers of electromagnetic mesh woven together with strands of DNA and sense subtle impressions through images of past selves petitioning the present moment. The imagery is rich with content. As I listen deeply, I hear between the words of each person who sits across from me, the chords and melodies of their individual song – through all time. Patterns emerge and nuances are extracted from the mundane details to be synthesized and remixed into a remedy for healing. The medicine is in affirmation, validation, compassion, neutrality and love. With a healthy dose of faith and inspiration mixed in for good measure.

Answers are definitely not my forte. However, I am pretty awesome with the questions. In fact, and not to be cliché, I live the questions much better when there’s no pressure from within for any kind of response – from myself or the Universe. Most folks who come to me for astrological/intuitive insight discover the great gift of tremendous anxiety release in the spaciousness of no time, no urgency, no wrong choice, no tomorrow, no yesterday – only NOW. That’s another gift of linking into the galactic cosmic wisdom of the planetary beings – limitless awareness and connection – in service to the Soul – that ALL is in Divine Order.

I’m learning this very lesson in a new and improved version myself these days.

It ain’t easy.

Yes, Saturn is helping with due diligence to mature my understanding of the linear calendar. Astrology is a great tool to tell us what time it is in terms of the karmic or soul mandates for evolutionary change. And it’s in the nuts and bolts of real life that we discover just what is required in that process. Theory doesn’t mean jack without a practical application. The practice of walking my talk so I can help others do the same, using the current astrology to balance the high wire act of living simultaneously in both Chronos AND Kairos time, has never been more essential.

Cause’ guess what?? I WANT ANSWERS!

Every morning I sit in the red chair, the one my clients get comfy in for our sessions, and ask my guidance a whole bunch of questions to prepare for my day. I face the empty black leather chair across from me, waiting and hoping expectantly to get some nugget of wisdom from somewhere for my efforts. Nothing. Nada. Silence. Every single day. And then I relax – and wait some more. You see I’m trying to prepare for a big impending heartbreak. The inevitable kind. The one that comes from someone you love deeply and dearly dying before you’re ready or they’re ready or all those who love them are ready.

And btw, I’m full of paradox if you haven’t noticed. I prefer the both/and way of being instead of either/or. Just FYI.

My ever present human self wants to stop the clock on this countdown to the end of a life. When it comes down to it that includes my own and every single person I hold close. My heart is breaking in a million pieces and though it’s certainly not the first time (or the last), this slow shattering is providing me with all the answers I need. Not the ones I want but the ones I need on my path to understanding. Again and again and again in my 55 years on this piece of hallowed ground, I find my solace in silence. I relax so much better in ‘what is’ when I lean into emptiness. Sure I get caught in the panic of breaking news when I first encounter it – especially when it’s personal. But when I drop into the spaciousness of Divine Order and trust that the immortal essence of our existence continues, I honest to goodness feel just fine.

The hundreds of readings I’ve done in this past year alone have been the best affirmation of this Truth. I’ve viscerally experienced with each client a quality of time compression – past, present and future becoming one – i.e. all time is now – that is mind blowing, fascinating and as real as anything my Taurus self could ask for. In all of this, I find my answer to any and every question I could ask.


There it is. That’s it. Simple, right? It doesn’t always come in an instant but when I lean into my discomfort, my heartbreak, my longing for an extra few hours, days, months, wherever the clock seems to be stuck – it’s the only answer that makes any sense. So I trust and accept, my anxiety drops away and I feel at peace.

ALL IS WELL.Blessings for all of us to find our way home in the coming year to this knowing. ~ Liz